The second week of school I had a conversation with the teacher about waxing week and not wanting to have to grow anything out. (It even sounds gross.) That was the first time she got persnickety with me. "If you want to wax someone then it's only fair that they get to wax you Miranda. It's not a big deal Miranda. If you don't do it then you won't get credit Miranda." FINE! I'll wax a patch of hair on my arm. (I would have liked to get my lip waxed.. and not the one on my face.) But apparently that's inappropriate. I'm starting to believe that the only time this woman has ever had sex was when she tried and succeeded in conceiving her three children. (This woman planned her children. WHO PLANS THAT?! Aren't all children accidents? She literally got preggo on purpose.) What I didn't realize however was that I would be getting to wax Fat Baby Mama. (Oh Lord, and then the light shined down on me.)
I have never felt so much gratification in hurting someone in my entire life. This girl grew out every hair on her huge body. Her armpits, her legs, her arms, her CHEEKS and CHIN, her mustache and her eyebrows. She rolled up her sleeves to show me her armpit hair and, no joke, I screamed. I don't think she has ever shaved before. It was like she had hypertrichosis all up in there. (You like that? New word. Look it up.) I tried with all my might to make this chick feel guilty for having such hairy armipits (She has a boyfriend!) but she has no shame, and I'm not the least bit surprised given her appearance. Sadly, I was not the one to do the waxing in that area, but I was lucky enough to get her left leg and arm. I intentionally waxed behind her knee and on the inside of her arm/elbow in hopes of inflicting upon her as much pain as possible. That simple, evil act probably makes me an irrevocably awful person, but I'm ok with that. I'll embrace it.
All things said, Karma's a fucking bitch. Later that same day we were forced to draw numbers to see which workstation we would be assigned once we got out onto the floor. Guess who I work by.. Yup, FAT BABY MAMA. And my only friend at the school got the one furthest from me. Of course. Naturally I made a stink about it and my teacher assumed it was because I was nervous and didn't want to go on the floor, but she clearly had it all wrong. I don't want to work next to that stupid bitch. I can't stand her voice, I can't stand her face, I can't stand the tacky blonde streaks in her hair and I definately can't stand her chola girl eyebrows. Now I really have to move back to Portland. At the very least drop out of beauty school.
........
Remember how last week I got sent home for being nine minutes late to school?.. While I laid in bed after I got home, I started thinking about all the things I would be missing that day.. then I convinced myself that my instructor would do something 'special' to piss me off. I definately wasn't let down. She colored everyone's hair. (SHE COLORED EVERYONE'S HAIR!) Personally, I don't care as much as the next girl, just because I've never chemically altered my hair in any way and I don't ever plan on doing so.. but this woman is just so unbelievable. She's constantly turning student's down when they ask her to trim their bangs, paint their nails, wax their eyebrows.. "You won't learn anything from it" is ALWAYS her excuse. And what do you know, the ONE day I'm gone she does EVERY students hair. Coincidence? I think not. Bitch? I think sooo.
My next day back was a doozy. She had me shaking in my boots. From anger. She wanted the class to practice cuts, colors, chemical treatments, etc.. on our doll heads. She wrote all the different types down on index cards and had us pick one and do what it said. Mine said Sodium Hydroxide. Do you know what that means? Because I fucking didn't. In my nicest tone I asked her what it was. (She's the reason why a lot of students fail tests, because they're too afraid to ask their teachers questions.) She looked at me with disgust and yelled "Are you serious? I really hope you're joking." (Fat Baby mama even had the audacity to snort at me!!) NO. I'M NOT JOKING! "I'm sorry, it's been 3 weeks since we worked on these hair applications and I'm drawing a blank. Could you do your job and help me please?" Wrong reply.
"Get your book NOW and figure it out. You are unbelievable."
"Stop talking to me like I'm stupid, because honestly, I'm probably smarter than you are."
"You are so disrespectful!"
"I guess that can only mean one thing then.."
"What, that you like to disrepect your peers?"
"IT CLEARLY MEANS I DON'T RESPECT YOU."
"Do you even want to be here?!"
"Sometimes. Like, say.. when you're not here. Are you even qualified to be teaching this class? I know how you only got your license less than TWO YEARS AGO. I bet it helps that your father owns this place huh?"
I didn't get kicked out/sent home after that.. (I'm as surprised as you are.) but she did get up immediately and go talk shit about me to the other teacher. I know because I heard it. The whole class heard it.
I think I proved my point! My point being I dominate.
XXXO
Miranda
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