I got kicked out of Barbie School.
But only for the day. Last night I got hammered (both ways) and then I woke up dead. I was more tired than hungover. I called into school and told them I'd be there at 10am instead of 8:30am. I slept for another 45 minutes, woke up, didn't bother to even put my face on, chugged the remaining whiskey coke from the night before and headed off to school. Well I got there at 10:09 and my teacher told me to go home because I was late and interrupting her class. I waved my $900 check in her face and told her she better let me in if she wanted to get paid. Did she let me in? DOIIIII.
She processed my check and THEN told me to leave. She was throwing excuses in my face "You're not in the proper attire, you're not at 110% and I had the class wait 15 minutes for you to show up before I handed out the test.." BLAH BLAH BLAH My responses seem to get me into more trouble than I'm already in. "First of all, I've been wearing the same exact outfit to school since the day I started, Fuck no I'm not at 110% because that's fucking IMPOSSIBLE and I hope you had the class start a wet set while they waited. I know how you hate to waste any precious class time!" Fuck that bitch dude, she's just butt hurt because she's overweight. I suppose that's why she gets along so well with Fat Baby Mama. WHO, by the way, told the teacher that she thinks I fucked with her food in the fridge and she's about to go to jail if she finds out I did. Sounds like a threat to my personal safety. Who messes with someone elses food? This isn't LA and I'm not black.
I would also like to point out that I have now missed FOUR new 30 Rock episodes for "That Guy." I was at 'my spot' when he strolled in. He walked over to me, braced himself for a big ole smack on the face and was pleasantly surprised when I offered him a seat. The seat turned into 8 beers, the beers turned into a ride home and the ride turned into him sneaking into my bedroom again. And no he didn't break up with his girlfriend. (Just thought I'd throw that in there..) My self confidence comes from all the wrong places.
XXXO
Miranda
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