Blind, Deaf and Dumb

Grandma Phyllis and Ryan Sher, don't read this!

I've got a situation here that could potentially interfere with my newly discovered blogging sanctuary.

Remember that guy I referred to a few posts ago? Yes, THAT GUY. Well, we got drunk and had sex. (Yes I said that. Sorry mom.) I went all high school on his ass and snuck him through my bedroom window. (Romantic right?) Then I introduced him to the awesomeness that is 30 Rock and shared my 12 pack of Tecate with him. I SHARED MY BEER! (My dear friend Kelly knows first hand that I never share my beer. With anyone! He knew to carry at least four beers in his backpack if he ever came over for a little Rock Band action.) But that's not what I'm needing to vent about. I'm not even complaining about missing two fucking episodes of 30 Rock just so I could spend a little more time with 'That Guy' everytime we hung out. (NEW episodes!) The "issue" here is that he fucked me, and then got a girlfriend the very next day. AND THAT GIRLFRIEND ISN'T ME. He fucking hit. it. and. quit. it. ladies and gentlemen. (Would you find it surprising if I told you this is the third time I've found myself in this same situation?)

Ontop of that, it's not even a new girlfriend, it's his ex girlfriend. Hunny, you guys broke up for a reason. His reason literally being "she got fat." First red flag? I am oblivious to any and all warning signs of probable errors. Which is why I'm constantly making bad decisions. To make the whole situation even worse he turned back the clock to 'the time when hickies were cool' and decided to give me two, right on my jugular. And the top of my dome is bumped and bruised. I've been branded. Until these go away, everytime I look in the mirror I am forced to remember the long, thick night of mistakes I made. And to think, only yesterday morning I was cheerful.

To give him some credit, the night of the sex party he did happen to mention that he had recently started hanging out with his ex girlfriend.. and any female of reason would have called it quits then and there. But am I reasonable? Of course I'm not, so I took 'ex girlfriend' as 'try harder to keep my affection.' Talk about a plan backfiring. Rejection is a very foreign feeling to me, and I am definately not a fan. This guy Shut. It. Down! He literally drove me to listen to Damien Rice on repeat. DAMIEN RICE! That guys sings shit like "what I am to you, is not what you mean to me."

Yesterday I texted him saying that I hoped he had a good day at work. Worst reply of all time: "Thank you.. I just wanted to let you know that I met up with my ex last night (oh, you mean right after I offered to give you a ride home from the bar, and our conversation about having sex again?) and we had a long talk and decided to give it another chance. Sorry for everything, I should have just stayed away." (Oh, you regret ever having met me? Swell. A girl always wants to hear that.) My only reply was "Hopefully she doesn't get fat this time." He said "Funny." Funny? I was going for something more like honest, pissed off, noticeably upset. And the joke's on you mother fucker because I just realized I forgot to take my last 5 birth control pills.

At the risk of sounding like an insane ex potential girlfriend wannabe, I really like this guy. STILL! I sound like a fucking psycho. I'm never like this, I'm just horny, and bored and more boy crazy than a Catholic priest. He's the only hot guy within a 20 mile radius and the second I saw him, I just clung to any hope of having sex with this guy on a regular basis. (You know we'd kill it teamed up.)

I'm about to take the midnight train going anywhere. Nature's cruel, she laughs at me. As for loneliness, she greets me in the morning.

It's just as well..

XXXO
Miranda